notes #17

heart deco, hyperpersonal perfume reviews and maurice quotes

“After all was not a real Hell better than a manufactured Heaven?” — E.M. Forster, Maurice 1914

realized that the classic “Stars! They’re Just Like Us!” column must be a huge downer for the Stars! relegated to lowly “Like Us!” status. 

it’s very fashionable to be an interloper right now, a person who willingly maneuvers or is somehow thrust into the perceived hinterlands of the rich and frivolous (think the guest, think happy hour). the droll party girl is the new version of nick carraway and stingo, not that i’d ever complain about that.

I used to have such sexy dreams and now? now it is just washers and dryers in the basement, the perfect utensil holder, winning eBay auctions

sweet tooth for the killing kind 

Too soon in august to feel like September but it’s hanging in the air anyway like the threat of violence .

I try to take notice of the very small instances of luck that i tend to overlook: when i arrive at the train station right as the train arrives, instead of bemoaning that “this always happens to me” when i just barely miss it. or finding a parking spot quickly instead of driving in circles for ages, or picking up a perfectly ripe avocado at the grocery store on the first try

Heartbreak is, illogically, the great equalizer (i.e., natalie portman is an academy award winner, one of the most beautiful women in the world, and a Harvard neuroscience degree holder, and her husband still cheated on her with a younger woman. We are all equal under misfortune’s fist!) tldr: illegalize french men! not that one has ever broken my personal heart, although they very well could have.

that’s the difference between dogs and girls 

/call her bad once and a girl will learn 

Walking past old grocery stores like graveyards 

Heart deco 

Everything is not entertaining to me! I am dealing with how to be! 

The thing about summer for girls with sunny dispositions was there was nowhere inconspicuous to hurt yourself 

I did a lot of things to make women between 35-40 hate me—wear cowboy boots with little floaty dresses and black underwear, read man-bait books on the L train (anyone who pretends they don’t know what this means is a liar), need help putting my bag in the overhead compartment on the plane—because it made me feel younger, which I needed because of the 21 year olds who made me feel ancient and crusted over 

NEVER ATTEMPT SUICIDE—ONLY COMPLETE IT! OTHERWISE IT IS TOO EXPENSIVE :/

In the mood to make somebody jerk themselves off somewhere inappropriate . Idk

J-SCENT DISCOVERY SET TOP RANKINGS

top: koiame, ramune, yawahada

hakka is good very fresh and then a gorgeous white floral super light musk….. it’s so mint heavy at first though it feels too fresh and eager for everyday wear 

yawahada may be my favorite, it really holds true to name somehow (soft skin), it’s a comfort to put on and to smell later…

i’m not happy enough lately to wear ramune, i’m not fun enough. i used to be a lot of fun in a lot of different ways, ask anyone. i used to tell very elaborate stories and use my hands while i talked even more than i do now, i used to feel things and do them and not even want to crumple after. at least that’s how i remember it. i remember being better, as company, as entertainment. someone who would smell sweet like japanese soda every day

something aquatic about koiame but i don’t know what, a very chemicalsweetfresh, like mr. bubble—no, like the loreal kids shampoo with the eye on it. i put it on and i can feel it run into my eyes, i swear

the sweet fresh round scents (i.e., the green fresh chloe) are becoming the old me even while they fade on my neck. a person hoping for a very abundant spring who stumbled into a summer they had no clue about, someone with wide eyes and an open mouth with a thumb on the tongue

I had in my brain the same sort of neural congestion that occurs in your ears during a flight; I felt suspended from the world  around me by just a membrane, just a pocket of air

Just remembered reading the book of disquiet out loud to Annie on the train to somewhere some night. What a nice thing 

the most you could ever do was watch other people feel things for and with each other while you watched from the other side of a one-way mirror